heart-fattening

if i weigh 50-something kilos the next time i step on the weighing scale, then i conclude: my heart blew up!

i walked with oscar in the middle of the day to the "book". i took nikon with me because i wanted to immortalize some moments of today. i captured beautiful angles of mother nature. nikon was so cooperative with me and mother nature was obviously up to the photo shoot! perfect! a kilo score to my heart.

on the way home to visnes, i bumped into kåre and his pappa in the middle of the bridge. kåre is a sweet 6-year old girl with asperger syndrome. she goes to the same kindergarten as felix. there were times when her parents would give us a ride home. sometimes when she sees me in vikalida, she would come to me and ask "vil du sitte på bilen os?". anyway, i exchanged hello's with her pappa while she was clinging to the railings of the bridge. suddenly, she took my right hand and put three melted beads into it. i was stunned and i stuttered. her pappa told me that they were for me. lovely gifts from kåre. i hugged her and said "tusen takk!". she gave me her sweetest smile and went back to her own world. pop goes my heart! 5 kilos, at least, were added to my kardia.

while sharing the sentiments of fermina daza and florentino ariza in "love in the time of cholera", i got a call from lea and mark boelskifte plus the background voice of mader anja. the kids called to say thank you for the hue that i made for them. in her own english way, lea told me "you having make the hue it's so beautiful". the boelskifte's will always have a part of my heart and everytime they get in touch (which happens rather more often now that lea has her own cp), my heart goes shalalalala! 5 more kilos go to my cardiac organ.

i am so loved.

i really don't mind getting heavier as long as the greater part of it comes from my blown up heart.

the kunal encounter

it was almost 3 years ago when i met this guy from India in a yahoo chatroom. we clicked! it was like magic. he is younger than me but he is more mature than i am. i loved talking to him and listening to him when he sang "mr. lonely". and like all of my other acquaintance, we lost contact.

but today, we found each other again!

kunal is the kind of guy whom i can talk to about anything, everything. if there is such a thing as a soulmate, then he would be mine. he's the sweetest, thoughtful, most sensible, most sensitive and funniest guy alive. he can read my mind. he's not afraid to ask me questions, even the most personal one. and he really expects an answer to all his questions. to another person, i would just merely shy away and ignore the awkward questions, but to him, it's different. i'm not scared to answer his queries. yes, he annoys me and i can freely tell him that. we disagree about certain perspectives but i end up seeing the light from all my confusions. he's my angel.

today, he told me that "If only" is one of his favorite movies. that he cried when he saw it. i was thinking, how many men in this planet can appreciate that film?

i, definitely, will keep kunal as a friend, as my angel. i am so lucky afterall : )

dearest J

i miss bumping on you in the messenger.

how have you been?

J, i feel guilty for not telling you about M earlier. i don't exactly know why i feel that way, but i do. i know, i kinda promised my forever to you, whether you believed it or not. it was true. it still stands true.

you know, i wish to be the princess in your happily-ever-after drama. i dream about it. but maybe it's just my silly imagination. when all the while, you really meant L to be with you in your fairytale ending.

ouch!

J, i still want to hear that story which you've been wanting to tell me

idle

i have a good excuse for staying in bed most of the day for a couple of days now. i have an excruciating dysmenorrhea attack. it's reason enough to miss mr. sun's kiss on my cheeks, which i've been missing a whole lot these rainy autumn days.

along with my idleness, i fed my tummy with chips, chocolate-chip cookies and soda, watched my favorite romantic movies, "the notebook", "kate & leopold" .... i am waiting for the buffering buffer to stop so i can watch "when harry met sally".

i did some knitting while watching those films. i was able to finish two hats, one for joan and one for the soon-to-be-25-year-old-kid delcorazon.

last night i was tuned in to iFM-manila and i can't help but smile on each song that was played on their sunday rewind. it was the 60's or 70's music, okay. i remember my father when i hear frank sinatra's voice on the air.

i talked to ms. doris on skype. we had a good laugh. my cheeks hurt but we laughed harder, we just couldn't stop. it was a good catching up. i'd never want to grow apart from my friends and this skype, ym and all these sites which connects me to people are blessings from somewhere out there.

i love this idleness. and what makes it better is that, i didn't need to hang a "do not disturb" warning on my door.

now, now, i have a movie to watch.

screaming mode

this ala-mother-to felix'-thing is getting into my nerves. i want to be alone and be with myself even for just an hour but he always tags along with me wherever i go. patience...patience

is this how all mothers feel like?

ugh!

4.10.09

full moon.

kainan kina ate maria.

amanda tried to talk to me. i was amazed because a few months ago, she wouldn't even come to me. the little girl has charm...and a potential "N"

mormor is here! yahoo! i can go out tomorrow!

papa M sent me a sms. aawwww...nag melt naman ang heart ko...

nag wear na ako ng winter jacket when i took a walk with kuya oscar.

ang ganda ng stryn...snowcapped mountain, full moon, stars, lights sa beverly hills...kaloka!

chat with lenell. haaayyyy..."love is difficult, but real" daw

started to knit a hat

bike, football, swing, skateboard, kahoy, grøt, atbp

....