so near yet so far

love doesn't know any distance...and the lovers always find a way to bridge the barriers that separate them.

Cristian and i consider ourselves as one of the bravest couples who took the risk and the challenge of being in a long distance relationship. it is difficult, indeed. especially when we had the chance to spend two weeks together. those two wonderful weeks of getting to know each other better, of walking without knowing where we were headed, of eating siopao, of laughing over some silly stuffs, of riding the jeepney, of enjoying each other's company, of giving him some silent treatments, of being with friends, of showing how much we love one another. ahh! sometimes, it is even painful to reminisce on the most beautiful and precious memories. how is it possible that the memories of the happy days with the one you love are the same memories that makes you cry?

we are brave. we got into this relationship and we are in this together. some people say that when you find love, grasp it! embrace it and never let it go. this is it for me. i found love. i am going to seize it, no matter how challenging the path would be, to finally be together with the one i love.

somehow, i can bear the pain of being far away from Cristian. i can deal with the separation anxiety. what i cannot bear is, seeing him having a hard time dealing with the fact that we are so far away from each other. it crushes my heart when i see him cry. if only i could take away his pain and just make it mine, i would. i will do that just to spare him of this malady.

i'm not used to seeing him so down. he's always this bubbly person who never runs out of things to say, jokes and silly tricks. i'm sure that in time, the Cristian that i know will be back. he'll be full of life and energy again. i'll be seeing him smile and laugh like a madman again.

we will get through this. with a little patience and with our over-powering love, we'll make it through. we will surpass the challenge of distance.

to my Pulutong, we can outdo anything and everything. i love you very much and in our situation now, only our love matters. i have love and i have YOU...that's what matters most to me. i will love you and only you for the rest of my life.

mahal na mahal kita forever

...waking up is the hardest part

my alarm went on at 08 30 am. i got up from bed too quickly, disoriented, my heart pounded too loud that it was defeaning and panic got into me.

i was looking for my Pulutong. i was standing beside the bed, not knowing where i was, and i was about to cry because Pulutong is not there and my half-conscious mind couldn't think of any reasonable thought where he is. it was such a dreadful feeling. i don't know how long i stood there, trying to reconnect my thoughts to reality.

after a while, of course, reality came back to me and my brain told me that he is in Bolzano. i sighed a deep sigh, laid back in bed and reminisced.

it's so hard to wake up without you, Mr. Cristian Boarolo.

soon...

i am so happy that you are in my life Pulutong ko...and i am more than happy with the thought and certainty that there's you and me in the near future.

i love you so much amore mio.

thank you for everything...thank you very much for this wonderful feeling.

mahal na mahal ko ikaw forever

Amore della mia vita

Thank you for everything, Pulutong ko

months to weeks to days to hours

the countdown started a little more than two months ago. it seems surreal to be counting the hours now.

i will be meeting Pulutong ko soon. the anticipation is killing me. if i keep on forgetting to breath, i might suffer from brain damage. waaahhh!!! okay, breath in...breath out...

nakakaloka!!!!!!!!!

cravings

i want to eat ice cream. i want to eat ice cream with felix while sitting on a swing and talking to him about his day at school.

i want to eat banana Q and camote Q, the ones that manong whoever sells outside the Robinson's Place.

i want to do something very dangerous.

i want to have a tattoo today.

i want to take a walk with Scott and HG up to the forest in Visnes