7th

happy birthday, my sweet little orc

ben

i was inspired by dr. miranda bailey.

on grey's anatomy's episode 9 of season 7, keppler almost took her "maiden voyage" with karev. it was a mistake, of course. everyone knows that karev is not the guy to mess up with because he himself is already messed up. since keppler is an innocent girl, (well...stupidity and innocence is almost synonymous sometimes) she let herself be carried away, i mean, half-way.

keppler got her doze of medicine from the drunk dr. bailey, who just had a night of fun and drinks with the other attendings at Joe's bar. this is what she told keppler: "one day, you will meet your ben, your very own ben. he may not be even called ben, but he will be your ben. and you will be so in-love with him that you'd want to super glue your self to him."

this is my mantra from now on: one day, i will meet my ben, my very own ben. he may not be even called ben, but he will be my ben. and i will be so in-love with him that i'd want to super glue myself to him


....i hope dr. bailey gets drunk again in one of the future episodes. she's full of wisdom when she's sobber, but i like her best when she's drunk ; )

surreal yet so real

standing by the kitchen's breakfast counter, kjersti and i talked about my soon "departure" from Norway. when she started to have teary eyes, i diverted the topic into a much lighter tone. i don't want to cry...not yet.

kjersti can't believe that it has been two years already since i arrived here, and it seems surreal to her that i am leaving soon...exactly eight days from now, if the police gets really excited to kick me off of sogn og fjordane. she has an on-hold-booked ticket for me, in case we get another denial from UDI. if things come to worst, at least we are ready.

in a way, i have accepted this fate. i slept well last night and hopefully, tonight too.

when i called mabeth and ate hazel to tell them that i might be going home on the 26th, it felt surreal for me too. but when i looked at my packed luggage, it felt so real!

bloody

i painted my toe nails with isadora's wonder-nail-extra-long-lasting-quick-dry-644-red-alert nail polish, to remind me that there is still something in me that is alive and vibrant. the prostitute red color is perfect! i don't want to wear socks anymore. i just want to see my toe nails all the time. bloody bloody bloody nails : )

abnormal sleeping habit

do i need to mention that i haven't been sleeping well these past days?

so today, at 4 pm, i put on my pajamas and hit the sheets.

diphthong

felix's homework for today is all about "ei, i, lei". it took us almost an hour to finish reading pages 11 and 12 of his lesehefte b. he is good in reading, no doubt about that. but he is easily distracted. like, after reading the first sentence on page 11, he realized that he was hungry. i tried to talk him out of it...we'll finish reading one page and i'll make him a sandwich. but no! he's really hungry! okay.

i told him that he can't read while he's chewing his food. so he bit, chewed and read...bit, chewed and read...at times, he bit, hid under the table while he chewed his food, i had to call him back to earth, and read...he bit, realized he was thirsty, ran to get a glass of water, came back to the table and read...bit, went to the toilet(he sang while he's in the restroom), went back to the table and read...cuddled with Scott and read...argued with me because he already read that sentence and i asked him to read it again, and read it anyway...asked me what time his dad will be home and read...

when it was all done after so many breaks and excuses, i felt more relieved than he was. åh! i finally breathed in air!

winter agony

in days like today, when the rain has washed away the puffy snow, and the cold weather has crystallized whatever's left of the snow, it requires full concentration when walking from prestestegen 17 down to visnes and on to the centrum. for it's when you are distracted that you fall. and when you fall, you probably have to come up with the best strategy on how to get up quickly and with your dignity still intact.

falling in a plop (i mean, falling in just one count) is painful but it is so much better than sliding on one foot and trying to hold your balance with the other foot, sliding again and your hands are up in the air desperately trying to hold on to a twig or something, and your body swings in every direction, then your legs would cross and split and finally, the plop! you'd wish you have a fairy godmother or harry potter's invisibility cloak when this happens because nothing can cover up for the shame and pain written all over your face (and in all caps!) you might as well take note of the electrifying pain that your nerves send to your head when you slide. tingling pain on the front lobe of your brain...

so, in days like today, all you need to do is concentrate. it would look like you're walking in a "patentero" way, trying to find a part of the road which is decent enough to be walked on, but you'll be thankful to yourself when you get to your destination without even sliding. it's dignifying and gratifying.

finally, walk with style...(if you can manage it)

i've got me

instead of crying myself to sleep, i decided to re-pack my luggage.

i am so scared right now. not to mention, alone. i wish there's somebody or anybody who would say to me "i've got you. it's going to be okay". but no. i have nobody to lean on. i've only got myself. so i have to be strong for me. i've always been there for myself and this feeling isn't new to me. it's just that, i forgot how it is to be scared. i know i'll get through this.

changes shouldn't be scary. they should be exciting! going back home should be exciting. but why am i so anxious about it?

phew! whatever happens, i've got me!

XOXO

rain-checked with the vampire-human affairs. i'm into gossip girl now and again : )

it's high-schoolish, i know, but this series makes me giggle and laugh and hate and cry.

good to be back in the upper east side of new york with blair, serena, nathaniel, eric, chuck, lily, eleonor and blair's ever-loyal yaya, dorota...and in brooklyn, with dan, jenny and rufus (also known as the humphrey's) plus vanessa.

drowning

i was drowning in my dream last night. unbelievable! as unbelievable as, in my dream i know how to dive!

anyway, i was diving in the depth of the sea. it was going smoothly, in fact. suddenly, there was an underwater helicopter of some sort, and i wanted to try it out...not knowing that it will travel even deeper on to the ocean floor. next thing i knew, i was out of the helicopter, and i was surrounded by giant metal pipes. they were scary. i began to panic and lost air. i've been hopping from one pipe to another just to feel something underneath my feet...to feel safe, at least. but i was sinking even deeper. and fast.

then a click in my brain told me that i had to swim back to the surface. i tried to control my breathing and slowly swam upwards. it was difficult but i did my best strokes. i wanted to survive. and i did!

now i realize...in a few more minutes that i didn't come out of the water, i could have drowned in my sleep...

movie theme songs

i've been having a staring competition with my acer screen. i had an idea what to write but suddenly, i was lost...

i opened youtube.com and watched all my favorite movie theme songs instead. here they are...

don't go breaking my heart - ella enchanted
so close - enchanted
way back into love - music and lyrics
fallen - pretty woman
time of my life - dirty dancing
moonriver - breakfast at tiffany's
she - notting hill
you belong to me - shrek
you've got a friend in me - toy story
alice - alice in wonderland
it all runs together - marley and me
feels like home - my sister's keeper
just you wait - my fair lady
favorite things - the sound of music

bye bye holidays

i woke up at 9:30, conscious that this will be the last day of my late lazy mornings. åh! more holidays, please....

i spent the morning watching "breakfast at tiffany's" and had lunch with siv, øyvind and signe johanna. we played tic-tac toe again over coffee and tea time. siv and i have become quite addicted to that game. we played five more games while øyvind heated up the car. we should have a tournament later. hehehe.

when signe johanna and øyvind were ready, i gathered my bags, hugged and said goodbye to siv, wondering if and when i'd see her again.

i felt a little sad to be leaving skei, but i also looked forward to spend some time with ate hazel and kuya geir in olden before going back to stryn. we had a fantastic dinner, filled with food and laughter (as always). it feels so nice to be surrounded by people who loves to laugh!

we called it a day at 20:00. with a little hang-over from our extreme laughters, øyvind drove me to stryn and drove back to pick up signe johanna.

scott welcomed me back with a warm snuggle and his usual "pee" greeting. felix reoriented me with his beyblades and atlantis figures, and both of us ended up watching "shrek: forever after" in the loft.

bye bye holidays...hello reality and more happy days : )

knee-high

after an afternoon game of tic-tac toe, siv, øyvind and i put on our warmest clothes and drove to utvikk fjellet to check on their cottage. the weather started to calm down a bit when we left skei, but the wind and snow up in the mountain was terrible. the beautiful sky was grayish to bluish to reddish.

øyvind parked the car 500 meters from the cottage and we walked the rest of the way. for siv and øyvind (tall people), the snow was knee-deep. but for a midget like me, the snow was up to my thighs. siv had to check on me every now and then if i'm still walking behind them and not buried in the snow somewhere.

the 5-minute walk to the cottage seemed forever. once we were inside, all the heaters were turned on and we covered ourselves with wool blankets. siv was busy coming back and forth the living room and kitchen, while øyvind and i froze on the sofa. when everything was settled and the cottage was a little warmer, we sat and talked. oh, it was just nice and relaxing to be there. siv thought it could have been cozier if we brought some hot cocoa. then øyvind found a box of chocolate from the cupboard and battled over himself whether to eat the chocolates or not because siv told him that those sweets had been there for a year or so already. he ate it anyway and offered us some. but i told him that i'll wait for five minutes and see what happens to him before i take his offer.

after an hour of talking and silent breaks, we decided to head back to skei. it was half past five and the darkness enveloped us once we were outside. i walked sandwiched between siv and øyvind since i didn't have a flashlight. the wind and snow's teamwork was still to the highest level. we were relieved to be back in the car and back to skei after half an hour and back to our tic-tac toe : )

the year that was

january
...new year's day in Roermond, the Netherlands with mabethskie, ng D, Guus, DD, GG and ate Mildred's family
...amsterdam
...dark angel's apparition
...HG's confession
...Oslo with ate Hazel (embassy, TGIF, and SAS Radisson)
...open-up your heart and let the sunshine in

february
...mabethskie's 31st
...night-out with mabeth, dark angel and the girls in bergen
...Oslo with Kjersti, Finn-Einar, Felix and kuya O
...free plane ticket to bergen from finn-einar (yahoo!)
...mt. fløyen
...cable car
...total eclipse of the heart...ugh! i'm not stupid!

march
...mountain trips with kuya O
...dark angel
...movie marathon
...samaria series from amazon

april
...kjersti and finn-einar in hongkong
...felix, joan and oscar team in stryn
...påske in stryn
...more mountain trips
...invite for sharon's wedding in steinkjer

may
...17th of may in bergen
...hike to mt. fløyen
...dark angel's darkest impact
...breakfast with mabeth's family and the girls
...plans with Ursula

june
...trip to Rome with Ursula (the best!)
...vatican, st. peter's cathedral, the dome, colloseum, fontana de trevi
...lost in the streets of rome
...stranded for a night at gardemoen
...my 31st
...paranoia to the nth level
...redemption!
...beer party (just aby and me)
...party at ate ofelia's

july
...aby's 30th
...vacation in Roermond, the Netherlands
...football mania (no.10)
...reunited with janice after 4 years
...dusseldorf and belgium roadtrip
...swimming!!!!
...jogging at the airport (almost missed my flight back to oslo)
...kjersti drove me and kuya O back to stryn
...reunited with kuya Oscar after 10 days
...super hot summer in Roermond
...trip to geiranger
...roadtrip to trondheim (munkholmen)
...rainy summer in stryn

august
...park anywhere
...ice cream
...Felix goes to school
...found Andrè on match
...roadtrip to Stranda
...bugs and butterflies in the garden
...bike trip to Olden
...bringebær, bluebær

september
...met my personal story-teller
...i fell in-love
...a weekend in Arendal
...huge housekey, hunting dog, sweet orange cat, turkeys and a scary mannequin
...i am in-love
...roadtrip to Oslo with Andrè
...Andrè's trip to Thailand
...jmb and hg to paris, disneyland
...boat tour along sienne river (lovely!)
...cheeseguy in paris' busy street
...witnessed a marriage proposal at the top of the eiffel tower
...Kjersti and Finn-Einar to France and new york
...we lost kuya Oscar...i lost my bestfriend (heart-breaking)

october
...kjersti and finn-einar to hongkong
...bustrip with felix to kvitfjell
...5 days in copenhagen with ursula and delcorazon and her friends
...confusion
...scared of going home
...paranoia
...halloween party at alex
...Scott
...mountain trip to Slogen
...stig, vanja and simon
...briksdalsbreen
...dropped ace on the bathroom floor

november
...confusion and paranoia
...karma-chameleon
...night out at alexandra (the most boring night out ever!)
...crying lady (i cried a river)
...neglected, rejected, hurt and broken-hearted
...vampire diaries
...vampire damon

december
...drank a bottle and a half of wine and threw up
...fil-nor christmas party
...christmas with the kvamme's in kvitfjell
...a week in skei
...confusion, regret, hopes and dreams
...roadtrips to sogndal and florø
...mabethskie's eternal happiness
...lutefisk
...confirmation from UiS