g, help our children

a week in manila re-opened my eyes to reality. life is hard. poverty is everywhere. traffic is something that has to be dealt with everyday...with patience, lots and tons of patience. you can never trust anyone. you always have to look out for yourself. when the jeepney driver says, "there's still a lot of space inside", he's lying. you have to submit yourself to frisking everytime you go in the mall. handkerchief is a necessity, as well as a handy fan. you have to get in the bus in the middle of the highway...

street children are everywhere...

children at the age of six or seven, the youngest i've seen was maybe around 4, dressed in ragged clothes, skinny, dirt and hunger are written all over their faces, their eyes speak of sadness, helplessness and maturity that can be, and supposedly, can ONLY be seen on grown-ups who have gone through a lot in life. they get on the jeepneys and pass on empty envelopes to each passengers. my heart melts everytime i see them. those children were supposed to be in school or playing with their friends. but there they were. scattered everywhere, asking anyone for money. forced to make a living.

if, only, i can be of help to them... i would bring back their innocence and let them experience the joys of childhood. i would take them all in a place where they can be protected from the harsh blows of life. i would provide everything for them so that they wouldn't have to worry about anything else. i would let them play all day.

it breaks my heart that i couldn't help them at all. even if i give them money, what difference can that make? the next day they would still be out there, doing the same thing. i worry about those children. the government is, definitely, not doing anything for them.

jose rizal said, " the children are the hope of our nation". if this scenario continues, i see no hope at all. my country's future is doomed.

happy, yipee, yehey

i can't miss this one. i just had to write about it, because it's mabeth's favorite noontime show : )

the name of the show is "happy, yipee, yehey!" at 12:30, she's in front of the television, enjoying the over-flowing energy of the show's hosts, the super-responsive studio audience and the show's theme song. yes! mabeth is singing along to the show's theme song! what's worse? she's dancing to the song's choreography. she's giving me goosebumps and i asked her to stop singing and dancing but she just ignored me : (

on my second day here in manila, i watched the show with her. after an hour or so, i fell asleep. the minute i woke up, the song played in my head. instantly! i panicked! it can't be!

i always have this tendency for a last song syndrome. but please, not "happy,yipee,yehey!" oh, g! the song is playing again.....

baclaran church

when my sister, mabeth and i met on tuesday, the two girls talked about going to baclaran church (aka mother of perpetual help church) the next day. mabeth was just a meter away from me when she asked me to go with them but i pretended to be deaf, blind and pipi.

they both know that i'm not really a religious person. i was...but something happened along the way, and now, i couldn't find the religious faith that i grew up with. all i know is that, one doesn't have to be religious to do good deeds. as long as i am not hurting anyone, as long as i try to help those who need me, as long as i don't loose my values, i can sleep well at night.

but since going-to-church got two votes out of three, i gave in and tried to conform with the majority.

wednesday. baclaran's big day. like BIG day. i've never seen so many people gathered in one place at a time since 1995's world youth day. we had to squeeze ourselves through a crowd of street vendors, cars and devoteès to get in the church's vicinity. in the end, we ended in the left wing of the church. we stood amongst people who had different intentions of being there, but with the same intense faith.

i was more of an outsider in that scenario. an observer as to how people lift up their prayers to the god and a listener to the priest's sermon.

this is a country of people who trusts the god more than anything else in the world. all their problems (even the petty worries in life) and thanksgiving are all raised to the god in heaven. even through diversity and adversity, they are bound together in prayers. i salute them. i admire their faith. i know, for sure, that whatever struggles they
may have in life, the Filipino faith is one of a kind...the kind that survives the tests of life.

punchlines today! starring Jillian and Aby

"ikaw talaga Joanna! palagi ka na lang naghahanap ng wala. meron naman jang ano, pero yung wala talaga yung hinahanap mo!"

"ayoko ng tumingin sa salamin. nasusuka na akong tingnan ang pagmumukha mo!"

"bakit? mukha ko ba ang nakikita mo pag tumitingin ka sa salamin?"

"outside we go, now? you understand me, no?"

"girl, pwedeng iwan ko dito si kuya geir?" (si scott sana yun! sorry kuya geir...)

"ate aby, wala ka na naman sa tono."

"binabasa mo kasi eh! kantahin mo!"

"nag drama ka no? ang pula kaya ng mata mo"

"ate Joanna special yan! tingnan mo, ang kinis kaya ng pagka kalbo nya. sa'n ka naman nakakita ng kalbo na may bangs? ikaw talaga! di ka marunong mag appreciate"

"umiiral na naman ang pagiging demonyo mo"

"hihintayin ka na naman namin, as usual"

"ang init! ang init! summer na!"

"...yung nagko collect ng pera..."

"'wag muna tayong magkita ng mga ilang weeks ha..."

"ate Aby, sapatusin mo muna ako"

did you know?

....that a shot of cognac is good for the colds?

oh yes! thanks to Leon for the tip. and thanks to Kjersti and Finn-Einar for storing a bottle of cognac in the house : )

not only am i enjoying my consistent-as-ritual-alcohol-weekend, but i'm also savoring the smooth and fiery flow of cognac in my throat. aaahhh!

tomorrow, i will be fine again. no more colds! no more sore throat! just a fine joanna marie on a fine day with mr. sun (hopefully)

pareng gubat at si scott

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my favorite animè characters on memory

...you know there's something i believe. i want to try to live my life carrying all my memories with me. and even if those memories are painful, even if they do nothing but hurt me, i want to keep them. even those memories i sometimes wish i could forget. as long as i carry them with me, as long as i can keep holding on...and someday, someday i will be strong enough that those memories don't hurt me anymore. and i'll be glad that i have them. that's what i thought, with all my heart.

that's why all my memories are precious to me. i don't think it would be okay to forget a single one. (momiji)

all of my memories, i wanna keep them close to my heart...and i wanna go on believing, i'm going to hold on. no matter how hard it might be sometimes. i never want to forget. because someday, i will be strong enough. all of the memories that are painful now, they won't hurt anymore. and when that day comes, i'll be glad that i have them. yes, all of my memories are precious to me, every single one. (tohru honda)


fruits basket, episode 15

sabado sa buwan ng pebrero

ginising na naman ako ni HG! bakit kaya every weekend ginigising ako no'n ng sobrang aga? kalurky! sabi ko naman, nang iistorbo sya eh ang dilim dilim pa sa labas. sabi naman nya, heller! maliwanag na kaya!

oo nga! nung imulat ko ang mga mata ko, maliwanag na nga! nag panic tuloy ako. akala ko late na naman ako sa usapan namin ni abigail. nung nitingnan ko yung time, 0830 pa lang. wow! maliwanag na. si mr. sun, pilit na iginigiit ang sarili sa hawi ng mga ulap.

hindi ko alam kung nag goodbye ba ako kay HG or hinayaan ko na lang yung phone ko at nakatulog ako ulit.

anyway...1155 na ako bumaba. di ko nga sinagot ang calls ng mga girls! i'll take my own time. miminsan lang ang sabado na ganito.

pagdating ko sa riccovero, nagulat naman ako at kompleto na sila. may HG na, may abigail at may jillian pa! wow! miminsan nga lang ang pangyayaring nako kompleto kaming apat. kaya naman nabulabog na naman ang Stryn sa ingay namin. and to quote jillian, "para kayong mga demonyo sa background ko!". aba! kaka miss kaya ang mga hirit ni little j. sumakit na naman tuloy ang ngala ngala ko sa kakatawa. pati nga sa cafè eh. di matigil tigil ang tawa namin sa mga maliliit at malalaking bagay bagay. iba talaga ang sense of humor ng mga babae ko! yung tipong maiiyak ka na dahil sa sobrang lungkot, pero nakakalusot pa rin ang mga hirit nila, at maiiyak ka na lang sa sobrang kakatawa. nung medyo na lowbat na kami at medyo tumahimik na, napansin namin na tumahimik din sa loob ng cafè. kaya lumabas na kami kasi over-staying na kami do'n. naman! pagpasok namin, medyo umuulan sa labas...ng kumakain na kami biglang nag snow at humangin ng sobra sobra...nung patapos na kami, umaraw na naman...nung palabas na kami, may araw at nagso snow. kung hindi pa kamo mga baliw, siguradong maloloka kami sa weather ngayong araw na 'to.

pagkatapos naming suriin at laitin ang mga halaman at bulaklak sa torg, nagsiuwian na ang mga baliw na babae. lalabas sila mamaya sa alex. ako naman, dito lang ako sa bahay. magbabasa ng libro at manonood ng movie. anti-social na naman ang drama ko....

a-girls

on my first day at the university, i met tara, eunice, chandra and gina. since then, we were inseparable as we cope with the eccentricities of our professors, went through cheering rehearsals, researched and rehearsed for our bc productions, auditioned for intermedius and had sleep-overs at each others houses. after graduation, we packed our bags and head on to the real world as we searched for jobs in cebu. we were there at each others lowest and highest moments. we had "us".

a few years after, we realized we had different callings. tara went back to iloilo, chandra moved to manila, gina reunited with her family in manila, i moved back to iloilo after a couple of years in cebu and eunice was the only one whom cebu really called for.

tara and i were inseparable again. we developed an addiction to movies and we were always present in the cinemas. we still had sleep-overs and eventually i moved in with her into big brother's house with all the crazy housemates. we had news from chandie, nice and gina from time to time. we once visited eunice in cebu when we heard that she was pregnant. i met chandra in manila when i was processing my visa.

we're all far apart from each other but in spirit, we're still entwined. i give credit to the internet for connecting us and for making it possible for us to catch up with each others lives.

today, we caught each other online. chandra, tara and i. we had a great talk and my tummy and jaw ached for laughing too much. i haven't laughed boisterously for a long time, but today, my laughter made up for all the missed times. oh, i almost fell off my chair.

it was good to catch up with friends whom i've known half my lifetime...friends who have seen me at my worst and still love me...who have encouraged me to be tough...who have been with me at my happiest and saddest episodes...friends who never left me no matter how we've grown apart.

a-girls, i love you! let's fill this world with happiness, love and laughter!

Love & Distrust

this is a compilation of five short films on love, struggle, longing and hope.

my personal favorite is called "pennies" with amy adams. she's a single mom and she works in a diner as a waitress. that day, she had to produce a certain amount of money for her daughter. she asked her boss for an advance in her paycheck but her request was just dismissed. she was so stressed out at work, dealing with crazy customers, helping a customer who choked on his food, putting up with co-workers with a lover's quarrel and an annoying boss. it was an impossible day! but in the end, she was able to collect enough tips to cover for the financial needs of her daughter. while she was counting the money, a woman with a gun went into the diner and threatened to kill her if she won't hand in the money to her. she was in despair. i, was even in despair just watching her handing the money to the stupid woman. amy was crying when a guy came into the diner and told her that her friend forgot to pay for his order. the guy gave her the money but she was too busy crying she didn't even look at him. the guy gave her a huge amount of tip because he felt sorry for her. when she looked up, the guy was gone and she was surprised to see the money on the counter. when she counted it, it was exactly the same amount that she needed. she ran out of the diner and headed to the music studio where her daughter was waiting for her to pay for her recital. after paying the man at the studio, the man asked her, "so how was your day?" amy stopped, smiled and said "it has been a good day".