good morning, sunshine!

after 3 weeks of rainy summer, today, for some miraculous intercessions, the sun came out of the clear blue sky, as if nothing happened. all those past gray and wet days were totally washed out by mr. sun's glorious radiance!

what a wonderful day to wake up to!

self-pity

after a couple of days of watching romantic comedies on the internet, i have totally decided to break up with my free movie downloads. it makes me feel so bad! i feel like such a looser. (oh that was supposed to be, LOOSER!)

why do all those women in romantic comedy movies end up finding their one true love, their magic guy or their perfect guy? they all make stupid things, but they still turn out charming. they say ugly stuffs but they still end up being kissed under the moonlight. they stumble in the middle of a heavy traffic and they end up being saved by a certain superhero guy. their lives seem to be all wrong but everything ends up all right! all those women ended up being loved.

and me? my life is a big joke. i say stupid things and no man ever told me that "oh, you're charming". i stumble and fall, like almost everywhere, but no superhero has ever saved me. i say ugly stuffs but no man has ever stopped me in the middle of whatever crazy thing i was saying and kiss me passionately instead. my life is a complete mess. my life is everything but right. and there is no man, there hasn't been any man and my forecast says that there will never be any man, who will end up loving me and say that everything's gonna be alright.

i love you, Kellogg's

thank you for the instant gratification in the mornings, afternoons and late evenings.

there are no other cornflakes which can ease my hunger as much as you do....

letters to Juliet

tears are not my entire basis for voting a movie a good one, but it sure does matter a lot. there are certain movies which make me cry while laughing or laugh while crying...and at the end of 99 minutes, they make me feel good.

that's just what "letters to Juliet" made me feel today.

it has been a long time since i've shed real tears on a movie. the last time i've felt as close to this one was when i saw "marley & me". but that's beside the point.

it's a nice feeling to watch those characters search for their soulmate, even after 50 years of being separated. it's very moving to see that they still feel so deeply in love with each other and that love makes them young again. and it is very encouraging to see the courage that those characters intake just to see for themselves if, truly, their one true love still exists.

however there are also those characters who need not wait for another 50 years. there are people who have found their soulmate but refuse to admit to the other person and clearly to themselves what they feel. these are the people who would go on with their lives and after sometime ask themselves, what if?

i can clearly see myself as one of those people who would look back and ask, what if? i am not that courageous. but if one of these days, i would open my eyes and clearly see who my soulmate is, i would definitely gather all my courage to tell that person how i feel. it doesn't matter how he feels towards me. well, on the second thought, it does matter. because if he loves me too, then, all the missing pieces in my life will fall back into place. but if he doesn't, it will hurt me terribly but at least, i did my part and when the time comes when i look back, i wouldn't have to ask, what if?

Sneijder fever

i got here in the Netherlands on Monday. by tuesday, i was cheering "hup Holland hup!" with the Dutch people. by the end of game between Holland and Uruguay, i was in love with one of the best players of the orange team, no. 10 himself, Wesley Sneijder.

i went through the usual madness everytime i'm obsessed with somebody. i immediately changed my profile name in fb. i liked everything orange. i wanted to have an orange jersey (but i'm not that crazy to spend 50 euro for a shirt). i was planning to book a ticket from Amsterdam to Oslo on monday, because i was hoping that there might be chance to bump into the (hopefully) 2010 FIFA champions in Schipol (isn't that exciting!!!). i would love to do that even if i'll only have a glimpse of Sneijder's bald head....

the thing is, my friend Janice, has been very supportive of my Sneijder obsession. her sister, Ng D knows about it, and ng D's friend, tita Mildred knows about it too! and tita Mildred happened to have a neighbor who looks like Wesley! they have been teasing me that i can have a photo taken with "boy", the Sneijder-look-alike-boy-next-door. of course, i just laughed at that suggestion.

last night was a shameful surprise though. after seeing "eclipse", we drove Kyla home. tita Mildred invited us in. i panicked when tita Mildred told me that "boy" is in the garden with his gf. and tita suggested that we stay in the garden to have some drinks. i just ran back inside their house and panicked like a 16-year old (shame!!!). when i finally had the courage to go out in the garden, i was covering up my shyness with laughter. and i truly laughed when Janice told me that boy had to go back inside the house to shave. tita Mildred went back inside the house to get the camera and everyone was pushing me to have the photo taken, at once (even the mother of boy's gf, huh!) and boy even said that i can tell the people in Norway that i have a picture with Sneijder. bwahahahahaha!


so, it all happened. we went to the other side of the fence, have a pictorial with boy Sneijder, had a big laugh and went back to tita Mildred's garden.

phew! my energy was drained after that. how much energy can be drained from me if it was the real Wesley, huh?

my future without me

a friend asked me last night "what's your plan? what are you going to do with your life?"

i swear, those are the questions i hate so much. a person should NOT insist on asking those questions when i answer "i don't know" because again, i swear, there's a huge possibility that i'm going to hate that person too.

i have been occupied lately. for one, i am a full-time sub-parent since it's summer vacation. Felix has been keeping me busy by asking me to draw some of the StarWars characters and spaceships. there are a million things to do in the house. when the sun is out, i want to be out too! i always go out to meet my friend and indulge in unhealthy eating habit and heart-warming laughter. when i get home, i see at least one episode of "desperate housewives". then i hit the sheets.

one thing that i have been putting off these past days is my future. i hate to think about it because i get indigestion. of course i worry what's going to happen a month or a year from now. i might be in my future, but right now i can't see myself as anything or with anyone in particular. it's just a complete blank.

lately, a friend and i have been saying "this is our last day". we are trying to live each day as if our last. we eat like we are going to be hanged the next day. we laugh like there's no tomorrow.

maybe...and unconsciously, this is my way of putting my future in place. by living each day as it comes. everyday is like a tiny piece of a puzzle that would eventually lead to a picture-perfect future. i just need to be calm and patient. i might stumble on the wrong piece now and then, but i know, i can connect everything and make my life whole.

as we speak, i am not in my future. i am in the "now". so i will drink my cup of tea, savor the lemon flavor in it, enjoy the view of the mountain and fjord and take mental pictures of every little detail of today.

last day of my 2nd 29th

today marks the last day of my 2nd 29th birthday. i'm trying to be not overly dramatic about it. (ehem! ehem!)

last year, i was hiding from my friends. i didn't want to make a big deal about my 2nd 29th. so, i lied. i told them that i won't be home and all those web-tangling stories. it worked! or so i thought. but at the end of that day, i walked my way to sharon's place with a bottle of wine because i realized that i didn't want to be completely alone.

i'm trying to remember the things that happened today. hmmm....

oh! i woke up at 7:10, snoozed my alarm for another 10 minutes and did my morning ritual. when i came down to the kitchen, Finn-Einar was there already preparing his own breakfast. he chuckled and said good morning when he saw me. i asked why he gave me the chuckling sound. he said "I'm just happy that it's possible for you not to be perfect". huh! my sleepy mind was saying "me perfect? no way!"

kjersti was in a rush to go to a meeting while Felix was enjoying the privilege of staying in bed longer than usual. we had breakfast together. i had cereals while he had a slice of bread with smelly sardines on top.

Felix left with Rebecca at quarter to 11. i did my chores. and i was in a tumbling mode when the thought of visiting Janice in Roermond hit me. i immediately wrote a message to her on FB, checked the flights and voila! by late afternoon, i booked a ticket to Dusseldorf!

Felix came home with a friend, Ole. Oscar was held hostage by the boys in the basement. he was their target with their new waterguns. poor kuya O. he was wet and smelly when he was finally released. the poor dog was scared of the boys that when we were having dinner he hid under my chair.

i made baked chicken with curry sauce and potatoes. Rebecca liked it ; )

mr. bean and his kids borrowed kuya O.

watched tv with Felix. Kjersti was so tired when she got home..and so was i. i hit the sheets at around 7, woke up at quarter past 8, took kuya O for a walk, showered when i got home and now, i'm blogging.

today hasn't been sunny, but at least it didn't rain. the sky was covered with thick clouds.

i particularly love my new hairstyle, courtesy of my bored self.

the guilt feeling of a sub-parent

i was 200 metres away from the kindergarten when i noticed that cars are blocking the streets of Vikalida. wondering what was happening, i walked faster while dragging kuya O along with me, worried that Felix might be the only kid left in barnehage. but no! he won't be the last kid to be picked up today. in fact, there was a crowd of kids, parents and kindergarten teachers in the upper hill of Vikalida.

it turned out that the kindergarten was having a "summerfest". there was a little talent show from the kids and the ones who belong in the førsteskule group were given memorabilia since they are soon leaving Vikalida. the program ended just as entered the gate.

i immediately looked for Felix. as he's always hard to track, one of the teachers helped me locate him. and there he was, joining the table of Kristian and his parents. as i said hello to him, he got teary-eyed and red all over his face. i asked him what was wrong. and he said, "why didn't you come earlier? i was the only kid without a parent". when his sobs came after that statement, i was enveloped with guilt and i felt so sorry for him that i was on the verge of crying too. i just hugged and consoled him and told him that i was sorry, i didn't know that there's a summerfest and that everything is okay because i was there for him. to finally stop the sobs, i asked him if he wanted a piece of cake and pizza. and voila! he was okay again. he was so happy to show me his pictures since he joined the kindergarten. and before i knew it, he was already running around with his friends.

but the guilt in me remains. i am just a sub-parent who missed the kid's summerfest. i wish someone would ask me if i want a slice of cake or pizza just so this guilt will fade away.

chasing kuya O

at 12 midnight i went downstairs to take kuya O out in the garden so he can pee. he just stood there, so harmlessly still, while i was waiting for him to do his thing. a few heartbeats later, he plunged into the bush and came out with a hedgehog hanging in his mouth. he was snarling like crazy as he was trying to get his teeth into the poor animal. in times like that, you can never apply the gentle approach with kuya O. there i was, between him and the tightly curled hedgehog, trying to get him to "sit". the scene reminded me of "patentero". it's not fun playing that game with a dog in the middle of the night, though. my heart was racing with annoyance and running back and forth so that he won't get anywhere near the hedgehog.

when i got the chance to close in to kuya O, i grabbed him by the neck and took him inside the house. i had a diarrhea of the mouth caused by rage.

uuurrrgggghhh!!! highblood!

1:13 am

i should be sleeping at this time already. but hey, i'm still up! blame it on a cup of brazillian coffee that i had around 10 pm. what can i do? the coffee aroma was irresistible!

i'll just let the sound of raindrops on the roof lull me to sleep then...

barcelona

thanks to the inspiration from woody allen's film "vicky cristina barcelona" and carlos ruiz zafon's "the shadow of the wind" and "the angel's game"...i am more than determined to go to barcelona.

both of ruiz' stories took place in barcelona. while i was reading his books, it was as if i was actually roaming the ramblas' notorious district. i also had a good preview of catalonia's capital from woody allen's film. barcelona has been calling me since then. and i have to, i must, succumb to its calling.

and the beach! barceloneta beach! i can imagine the feel of the sand under my feet and the sun's kiss on my skin.

oh! it has to be soon....

without oscar

for the first time ever, i went for a walk up in the woods alone. no kuya oscar to drag me or encourage me to walk faster.

i took my own pace. i mostly stopped to listen to the gurgling of the melting snow against the large stone forest walls and rambling of snow from an avalanche somewhere up in the mountain, whistling back to the little birds whilst enjoying their welcoming-the-spring songs. i even sat on my "throne" for a good 20 minutes and admired the smoggy fjord and took time to talk to the old people whom i normally bump in to when i walk with kuya oscar. they were wondering where my constant companion is.

when i got back in the house, it was so quiet that i had to call out "kuya oscar" a lot of times just to make noise.

sigh!

i miss my kuya. i miss him when i'm reading and he rests his head on my tummy. i miss to tickle him (although to no effect at all). i miss teaching him how to smile and to say "i love you too". i miss talking to him. i definitely miss walking with him. i miss his annoying bark. i miss him. i miss him.

fiskebøller

it's a traditional Norwegian dish. easy to prepare, tastes good and cheap ; )

it's normally served with boiled or mashed potatoes, freshly-grated carrots and in my family, capers is an important addition.

maria elizabeth napalinga is the one who introduced me to this dish...they used to have fiskebøller at least once a week. when she told my family about this, they were kind of "what? ewwww...". well, my family is not one of those traditional Norwegian families afterall.

but one day, out of curiosity and honestly, i ran out of ideas on what to prepare for dinner, i came across the grocery section where they store fiskebøller. mmmmm...instant dinner, i thought! i took a risk and a can of fiskebøller home. just had to prepare the white sauce and the potatoes.

that was a box office dinner! it was a big hit, especially for Felix. it's good to know something easy to prepare on busy days...like, today.

guess what we're having for middag......

; )


....*image was taken from matoppskrift.no*...