to do

i am, maybe, halfway of my mortality span, and things haven't been that bad. i didn't plan any of these things...well, opportunities came, i grabbed them. challenges provoked me and i faced them straight-off. good and bad weathers came and i weathered them all. people came into my life, i loved them with all my heart and they were gone. but i am still here. content with the ephemeral happiness and love that comes along my way.

for the time being though, i have short term "to do's"....(plan is such a tough word for me. it seems unattainable. "to do" is a couple of words which suit me just right. and it means, i'm really gonna do it!)

okay... here are my "to do" list when i get back home:

* learn how to play the guitar

top of the list. yes! i want to be able to play more songs other than "leaving on a jet plane" and "when you say nothing at all". i want to strum and pluck. music is a great part of what i am and i want to spend the rest of my life playing songs for myself and for everyone. jitters! i am excited as hell! mmmm...i need a good guitar and a brilliant guitarist! yamaha school of music, here i come...

* find a job

i want to get back to the corporate world. feel the adrenaline rush while trying to catch the deadline or trying to reach the sales target at the end of each month.

either that OR...

i'll find a job in a beach resort and wake up each morning feeling the sea breeze on my face...amanpulo is my target area. i wouldn't mind working in paradise. it would be bliss for me.

* get back on stage

if there's one thing that i am most passionate about, it's performing on stage. there is nothing more liberating than creating a character into shape and portraying it. it's cathartic. and i miss being someone else. i also miss the late night rehearsals and bonding with eccentric people.

* catch up with my family and friends

i will hug my mom and dad every minute of every day. just to make-up with the missed times.

i will be a real real friend to my friends. i don't want to be a cyber friend anymore.

* fall in-love

i've got so much love, running through my veins, going to waste (robbie williams)



anyway, those are the things that i'm looking forward to do when (and if) i get back home. somehow, i am looking forward to it. but i also feel sad when i think of leaving the place that have been home to me for a couple of years. especially when, if i only have a choice, this would be the place that i'd want to be my home.