....i have been in the dark and slumbering for quite sometime now. this song woke me up and stirred me within. i want to live my life and be passionate again! i love me! : )
Do you know what's worth fighting for
When it's not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away
And you feel yourself suffocating?
Does the pain weigh out the pride
And you look for a place to hide?
Did someone break your heart inside?
You're in ruins
One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky,
You and I
When you're at the end of the road
And you lost all sense of control
And your thoughts have taken their toll
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul
Your faith walks on broken glass
And the hangover doesn't pass
Nothing's ever built to last
You're in ruins
One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky,
You and I
Did you try to live on your own
When you burned down the house and home?
Did you stand too close to the fire
Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone?
When it's time to live and let die
And you can't get another try
Something inside this heart has died
You're in ruins
One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky
One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky,
You and I
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my dearest andrè,
it has been a while since i haven't heard from you. i know that you have been extremely busy these days, but i've been worried sick about you. it doesn't do me any good to go to sleep at night wondering how you are doing or waking up in the middle of the night wondering if you're okay...or crying because i miss you so much and i worry about you.
to be honest, i feel like a stalker now. remember that girl you told me about...the girl who used to leave messages on your messenger which says, "oh, you're staring at me again" or something like that? i feel like i've become that kind of girl, leaving messages on your phone. i am scared to leave another message on your mobile because i might be annoying you already. i'm pathetic, i know, but this is me and i can't do anything about it.
anyway, what i'm trying to say here is that...thank you, for coming into my life. for the very short time that i have known you, i have been completely, truly, deeply happy and in-love. i have become a different kind of person. and i liked that person whom i've become because of you. i was in total bliss, Andrè. you made me believe that i am still capable of loving another human being unconditionally. you gave me those wonderful mornings, when i woke up with your sweet messages. you made me laugh (oh, how i loved those times). you made me feel loved. loving you was as spontaneous as breathing in air. i was carefree and happy and in-love.
last night before i went to sleep, i read all your messages in my inbox. the messages still made me smile, but somehow it hurts me too. i may be naive in this thing called love, but i am not completely oblivious. somehow, things have been different these past days and i keep on asking myself if i've done something wrong or said something bad to you. i wish i could have been more sensitive in times when you needed someone to talk to and i wish i was there to hug you or hold your hand...i wish i was there all the time for you, with you.
but no matter what i say or do, will it make any difference now?
you told me once that, "time heals all wounds"...well, i am hurting now, and i know that this stage will pass, sooner or later. in time, my broken heart will be fixed and i will be okay again.
and when i look back to this day, i will still be thankful that i have known you, sweet Andrè. you are the most beautiful soul that i have ever met in my lifetime. i will treasure all the wonderful memories that i had with you forever. you will always have a special place in my heart, that's for sure ; ) and i will remember you everytime i see a butterfly or everytime i look up at the moon in the night sky or everytime i see a celery.
Andrè, have i done something really bad to deserve this cold and silent treatment from you?
Andrè, remember that woman you told me about? the woman who went to your place and after meeting her that day, you never heard from each other ever again? i don't want to be that woman, Andrè. please don't get me wrong...i am not demanding anything from you..well, okay, maybe one thing. just one thing. a simple text message "goodbye, joanna" will do. at least, in that way, i would know that the moon hasn't swallowed you up or you didn't get sick with another bee sting...at least i would know that you're okay and that you're still alive.
if i were to go back to pluto one of these days, that would be my last wish Andrè...or if i could whisper a wish to santa claus, my wish would be...that you would, at least say farewell to me...
you are an amazingly good person Andrè Rose and i wish you and Louie all the best in life...all the happiness and love : )
teddy bear hugs,
joanna marie
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