after 3 weeks of rainy summer, today, for some miraculous intercessions, the sun came out of the clear blue sky, as if nothing happened. all those past gray and wet days were totally washed out by mr. sun's glorious radiance!
what a wonderful day to wake up to!
Friday, July 23, 2010
Saturday, July 17, 2010
self-pity
after a couple of days of watching romantic comedies on the internet, i have totally decided to break up with my free movie downloads. it makes me feel so bad! i feel like such a looser. (oh that was supposed to be, LOOSER!)
why do all those women in romantic comedy movies end up finding their one true love, their magic guy or their perfect guy? they all make stupid things, but they still turn out charming. they say ugly stuffs but they still end up being kissed under the moonlight. they stumble in the middle of a heavy traffic and they end up being saved by a certain superhero guy. their lives seem to be all wrong but everything ends up all right! all those women ended up being loved.
and me? my life is a big joke. i say stupid things and no man ever told me that "oh, you're charming". i stumble and fall, like almost everywhere, but no superhero has ever saved me. i say ugly stuffs but no man has ever stopped me in the middle of whatever crazy thing i was saying and kiss me passionately instead. my life is a complete mess. my life is everything but right. and there is no man, there hasn't been any man and my forecast says that there will never be any man, who will end up loving me and say that everything's gonna be alright.
why do all those women in romantic comedy movies end up finding their one true love, their magic guy or their perfect guy? they all make stupid things, but they still turn out charming. they say ugly stuffs but they still end up being kissed under the moonlight. they stumble in the middle of a heavy traffic and they end up being saved by a certain superhero guy. their lives seem to be all wrong but everything ends up all right! all those women ended up being loved.
and me? my life is a big joke. i say stupid things and no man ever told me that "oh, you're charming". i stumble and fall, like almost everywhere, but no superhero has ever saved me. i say ugly stuffs but no man has ever stopped me in the middle of whatever crazy thing i was saying and kiss me passionately instead. my life is a complete mess. my life is everything but right. and there is no man, there hasn't been any man and my forecast says that there will never be any man, who will end up loving me and say that everything's gonna be alright.
Friday, July 16, 2010
i love you, Kellogg's
thank you for the instant gratification in the mornings, afternoons and late evenings.
there are no other cornflakes which can ease my hunger as much as you do....
there are no other cornflakes which can ease my hunger as much as you do....
letters to Juliet
tears are not my entire basis for voting a movie a good one, but it sure does matter a lot. there are certain movies which make me cry while laughing or laugh while crying...and at the end of 99 minutes, they make me feel good.
that's just what "letters to Juliet" made me feel today.
it has been a long time since i've shed real tears on a movie. the last time i've felt as close to this one was when i saw "marley & me". but that's beside the point.
it's a nice feeling to watch those characters search for their soulmate, even after 50 years of being separated. it's very moving to see that they still feel so deeply in love with each other and that love makes them young again. and it is very encouraging to see the courage that those characters intake just to see for themselves if, truly, their one true love still exists.
however there are also those characters who need not wait for another 50 years. there are people who have found their soulmate but refuse to admit to the other person and clearly to themselves what they feel. these are the people who would go on with their lives and after sometime ask themselves, what if?
i can clearly see myself as one of those people who would look back and ask, what if? i am not that courageous. but if one of these days, i would open my eyes and clearly see who my soulmate is, i would definitely gather all my courage to tell that person how i feel. it doesn't matter how he feels towards me. well, on the second thought, it does matter. because if he loves me too, then, all the missing pieces in my life will fall back into place. but if he doesn't, it will hurt me terribly but at least, i did my part and when the time comes when i look back, i wouldn't have to ask, what if?
that's just what "letters to Juliet" made me feel today.
it has been a long time since i've shed real tears on a movie. the last time i've felt as close to this one was when i saw "marley & me". but that's beside the point.
it's a nice feeling to watch those characters search for their soulmate, even after 50 years of being separated. it's very moving to see that they still feel so deeply in love with each other and that love makes them young again. and it is very encouraging to see the courage that those characters intake just to see for themselves if, truly, their one true love still exists.
however there are also those characters who need not wait for another 50 years. there are people who have found their soulmate but refuse to admit to the other person and clearly to themselves what they feel. these are the people who would go on with their lives and after sometime ask themselves, what if?
i can clearly see myself as one of those people who would look back and ask, what if? i am not that courageous. but if one of these days, i would open my eyes and clearly see who my soulmate is, i would definitely gather all my courage to tell that person how i feel. it doesn't matter how he feels towards me. well, on the second thought, it does matter. because if he loves me too, then, all the missing pieces in my life will fall back into place. but if he doesn't, it will hurt me terribly but at least, i did my part and when the time comes when i look back, i wouldn't have to ask, what if?
Friday, July 9, 2010
Sneijder fever
i got here in the Netherlands on Monday. by tuesday, i was cheering "hup Holland hup!" with the Dutch people. by the end of game between Holland and Uruguay, i was in love with one of the best players of the orange team, no. 10 himself, Wesley Sneijder.
i went through the usual madness everytime i'm obsessed with somebody. i immediately changed my profile name in fb. i liked everything orange. i wanted to have an orange jersey (but i'm not that crazy to spend 50 euro for a shirt). i was planning to book a ticket from Amsterdam to Oslo on monday, because i was hoping that there might be chance to bump into the (hopefully) 2010 FIFA champions in Schipol (isn't that exciting!!!). i would love to do that even if i'll only have a glimpse of Sneijder's bald head....
the thing is, my friend Janice, has been very supportive of my Sneijder obsession. her sister, Ng D knows about it, and ng D's friend, tita Mildred knows about it too! and tita Mildred happened to have a neighbor who looks like Wesley! they have been teasing me that i can have a photo taken with "boy", the Sneijder-look-alike-boy-next-door. of course, i just laughed at that suggestion.
last night was a shameful surprise though. after seeing "eclipse", we drove Kyla home. tita Mildred invited us in. i panicked when tita Mildred told me that "boy" is in the garden with his gf. and tita suggested that we stay in the garden to have some drinks. i just ran back inside their house and panicked like a 16-year old (shame!!!). when i finally had the courage to go out in the garden, i was covering up my shyness with laughter. and i truly laughed when Janice told me that boy had to go back inside the house to shave. tita Mildred went back inside the house to get the camera and everyone was pushing me to have the photo taken, at once (even the mother of boy's gf, huh!) and boy even said that i can tell the people in Norway that i have a picture with Sneijder. bwahahahahaha!
so, it all happened. we went to the other side of the fence, have a pictorial with boy Sneijder, had a big laugh and went back to tita Mildred's garden.
phew! my energy was drained after that. how much energy can be drained from me if it was the real Wesley, huh?
i went through the usual madness everytime i'm obsessed with somebody. i immediately changed my profile name in fb. i liked everything orange. i wanted to have an orange jersey (but i'm not that crazy to spend 50 euro for a shirt). i was planning to book a ticket from Amsterdam to Oslo on monday, because i was hoping that there might be chance to bump into the (hopefully) 2010 FIFA champions in Schipol (isn't that exciting!!!). i would love to do that even if i'll only have a glimpse of Sneijder's bald head....
the thing is, my friend Janice, has been very supportive of my Sneijder obsession. her sister, Ng D knows about it, and ng D's friend, tita Mildred knows about it too! and tita Mildred happened to have a neighbor who looks like Wesley! they have been teasing me that i can have a photo taken with "boy", the Sneijder-look-alike-boy-next-door. of course, i just laughed at that suggestion.
last night was a shameful surprise though. after seeing "eclipse", we drove Kyla home. tita Mildred invited us in. i panicked when tita Mildred told me that "boy" is in the garden with his gf. and tita suggested that we stay in the garden to have some drinks. i just ran back inside their house and panicked like a 16-year old (shame!!!). when i finally had the courage to go out in the garden, i was covering up my shyness with laughter. and i truly laughed when Janice told me that boy had to go back inside the house to shave. tita Mildred went back inside the house to get the camera and everyone was pushing me to have the photo taken, at once (even the mother of boy's gf, huh!) and boy even said that i can tell the people in Norway that i have a picture with Sneijder. bwahahahahaha!
so, it all happened. we went to the other side of the fence, have a pictorial with boy Sneijder, had a big laugh and went back to tita Mildred's garden.
phew! my energy was drained after that. how much energy can be drained from me if it was the real Wesley, huh?
Friday, July 2, 2010
my future without me
a friend asked me last night "what's your plan? what are you going to do with your life?"
i swear, those are the questions i hate so much. a person should NOT insist on asking those questions when i answer "i don't know" because again, i swear, there's a huge possibility that i'm going to hate that person too.
i have been occupied lately. for one, i am a full-time sub-parent since it's summer vacation. Felix has been keeping me busy by asking me to draw some of the StarWars characters and spaceships. there are a million things to do in the house. when the sun is out, i want to be out too! i always go out to meet my friend and indulge in unhealthy eating habit and heart-warming laughter. when i get home, i see at least one episode of "desperate housewives". then i hit the sheets.
one thing that i have been putting off these past days is my future. i hate to think about it because i get indigestion. of course i worry what's going to happen a month or a year from now. i might be in my future, but right now i can't see myself as anything or with anyone in particular. it's just a complete blank.
lately, a friend and i have been saying "this is our last day". we are trying to live each day as if our last. we eat like we are going to be hanged the next day. we laugh like there's no tomorrow.
maybe...and unconsciously, this is my way of putting my future in place. by living each day as it comes. everyday is like a tiny piece of a puzzle that would eventually lead to a picture-perfect future. i just need to be calm and patient. i might stumble on the wrong piece now and then, but i know, i can connect everything and make my life whole.
as we speak, i am not in my future. i am in the "now". so i will drink my cup of tea, savor the lemon flavor in it, enjoy the view of the mountain and fjord and take mental pictures of every little detail of today.
i swear, those are the questions i hate so much. a person should NOT insist on asking those questions when i answer "i don't know" because again, i swear, there's a huge possibility that i'm going to hate that person too.
i have been occupied lately. for one, i am a full-time sub-parent since it's summer vacation. Felix has been keeping me busy by asking me to draw some of the StarWars characters and spaceships. there are a million things to do in the house. when the sun is out, i want to be out too! i always go out to meet my friend and indulge in unhealthy eating habit and heart-warming laughter. when i get home, i see at least one episode of "desperate housewives". then i hit the sheets.
one thing that i have been putting off these past days is my future. i hate to think about it because i get indigestion. of course i worry what's going to happen a month or a year from now. i might be in my future, but right now i can't see myself as anything or with anyone in particular. it's just a complete blank.
lately, a friend and i have been saying "this is our last day". we are trying to live each day as if our last. we eat like we are going to be hanged the next day. we laugh like there's no tomorrow.
maybe...and unconsciously, this is my way of putting my future in place. by living each day as it comes. everyday is like a tiny piece of a puzzle that would eventually lead to a picture-perfect future. i just need to be calm and patient. i might stumble on the wrong piece now and then, but i know, i can connect everything and make my life whole.
as we speak, i am not in my future. i am in the "now". so i will drink my cup of tea, savor the lemon flavor in it, enjoy the view of the mountain and fjord and take mental pictures of every little detail of today.
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