Lifehouse - Hanging By a Moment

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If Ever You're In My Arms Again - Toni Gonzaga & Sam Milby

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how do you dry your eyes?

one day, i found myself all alone again... for a while now, i thought that i found someone whom i'm going to be with for the rest of my life. but no...reality always kicks me where it hurts the most, to remind me that i will always be alone. that in this lifetime, i will have to face my battles all by myself. and i have to be strong. i have to bear the sleepless nights for now. i have to force a smile to let everyone know that i'm okay. i have to mum my cries at night and every time i see something that reminds me of him, which is so hard because everywhere i look, his memory is there. i can't even look at a siopao without crying. i refuse to eat at green mango. it's excruciating to look at the pictures that reminds of the happy memories...how can something so wonderful had to end? oh dear god! i am so tired of feeling crashed and hurt. i am so tired of acting that i am strong.i just want to fall asleep and wake up healed and whole again. if i can just get one night of proper sleep, maybe, just maybe, i will be better. if i can just get away from this city where we walked along hand in hand, maybe i will heal faster. i know that one day, the broken pieces of my heart will be molded back into place. my shield will be whole again. i will be able to protect myself from anyone. i hope that i'll be able to live, love and laugh again...

Ingrid Michaelson "Be OK"

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The Script - Breakeven

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Tell Me - Side A

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uno

celebrating our first year on skype... i've got the sweetest man on earth. i must have done something good to deserve the best man ever. it's amazing how we got to this...a year of finding each other online, falling in-love, meeting personally, falling more in-love, hmmmm...arguing, giving each other silent treatments... we weathered everything this year. it has been challenging given the fact that we are far away from each other. but in everything that we've been through this year, we both know that no matter what happens, we will always go back to the core of our relationship... love. pulutong ko, thank you for all the love and understanding that you give to me, for never giving up on me no matter how difficult i get most of the time...thank you for everything...you are the bestest! mwah! looking forward to more wonderful years with you ^_^

what is this?

i thought of bloody mary and celery stick as soon as i woke up this morning...whatisthemeaningofthis? .... am i a haunted alcoholic? bzzz bzzz bzzz

kayaking, hiking and swimming in tibiao

it's officially summer time! my weekends are filled with trips everywhere. it's exciting to roam around places where i've never been to. it's weird coz these places are close to where i am and i've never known they existed...

summer opener: march24-25, 2012, kayak-inn, tibiao, antique

mader len and sally with our hosts in the veranda of our cottage by the river. it's where we spent most of our time, relaxing, talking endlessly about peyups and UP pips, eating, sipping our cups of coffee and gazing at fireflies at night.





manong is preparing the "kawa" for our hot bath





tibiao river





playful tibiao kids :)





the trekkers





playing at the first waterfall




there's no way up but here...trust the rope..trust the rope...





hydro massage





my butterfly





so many more happy summer weekends!!!

feel good

it feels so good to be missed by someone...it warms my heart...it has been a while since i've heard the words " i miss you "...so it's overwhelming to hear it or read it...

survival 101

i almost went home yesterday after seeing my schedule for the day. i felt sick, but that's beside the fact that i already feel sick. i just thought i won't be able to survive the day with 6 consecutive high classes, 20-minute break, class, 20 minute break, 3 regular classes, 1-30minute class and 4 webex classes.

when i finished my 2 hour class, i wanted to scream "i survived!!!". i felt exhilarated that i'm still intact after dealing with the worst group of students, ever! well at least, my sanity turned hazy from total darkness.

these past days, i've been a "walker". when i think about it, i am worse than a "walker". the "walkers" look gross because they're dead, and they just walk endlessly, but there's one live nerve in their brain that signals for desire, hunger, want, crave...and they will do anything, everything to get what they want. even if that will lead to their second death.

i am a walker. i look normal in the outside, but i am a walker, lacking that live nerve in my brain.

i guess this is the result of blocking all the bad feelings, all the hurt, all the fears and confusion, all the disappointment and just pretend to be happy. in the end, it's difficult to deal with all those feelings because from the very start, i never acknowledged them. so now, they're seeping through the recesses of my soul and they're eating me alive. those bad feelings piled up and left me rotten.

but i can't be rotten. or at least, i don't want other people to smell me rotting inside. so i'll just keep wearing a neutral facade, keep walking without scaring other people.

i hope i will be able to pass, survival 101.

"If You Forget Me" : Madonna reciting Pablo Neruda

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dinagyang 2012

i promised pulutong ko to send him some pictures that i took last dinagyang. this is like a super late action to that promise...



a pose with a dinagyang warrior at the robinson's place. i squeezed in through the crowd to have a picture with this cute warrior :)


dinagyang souvenirs


tribu pan-ay warriors (dinagyang 2012 grand champion), mommy libet and joanna marie


A for effort! Amazing make-up :)



my super friends with tribu pan-ay's super props


kikay and the giant egg



the scary bird, jingjing and the scared kikay



cool mommy


promises are not made to be broken...sometimes, it just takes time to upload that promise :)