for someone who is so used to having a cool, undisturbed and out of this world existence, just a mere e-encounter with a long lost friend is freaking!
so i woke up with the thought of hugh...it was overwhelming! can you imagine how defeaning my heart's dubdub was, when, i was still on the process of pouring out all my emotions on hugh, and out of a sudden this long lost friend appeared on my computer screen with a "joanna hello!"?
i was in panic! my whole world shook! i couldn't contain the happiness, confusion, fear, agony, shame....i wanted to jump off the cliff just a few meters outside my bedroom!
okay, breath in...breath out (1 million times)
why such an effect? say, i sent this long lost friend an email of my confession...that i was (or still) in love with him. i sent to him the most outrageous email i've ever composed in my 29 years of existence almost a year ago. and what was so shameful about this whole confession thing was that, he didn't even believe me! he thought i was just making a BIG joke!
and so
i made a vow of silence
between him and me
we didn't hear anything from each other after that.
not until that hughful saturday morning.
of course, i tried to fish for something but he was playing safe and so was i. i figured, my confession is a taboo so i didn't brought it up. i didn't want to scare him away. the conversation was plain and somehow comforting but mostly freaking (for me, at least)
god, i miss him! a lot!
i ended our chat with an "i love you"
and he replied with a FREAKING
"i love you too"
to balance that freaking morning, i joined my friends for dinner. i wanted to drown on the 1-year beer supply of sharon. i drank as much as my tummy can take. if i could only fill my lungs with beer, i could have drank more. anyway, i thought my beer intake would put me to a long and undisturbed sleep. but no! i was freaking out because sleep didn't come. i was freaking awake for the entire freaking night!
now, i am a certified freaking freak!!!
so i woke up with the thought of hugh...it was overwhelming! can you imagine how defeaning my heart's dubdub was, when, i was still on the process of pouring out all my emotions on hugh, and out of a sudden this long lost friend appeared on my computer screen with a "joanna hello!"?
i was in panic! my whole world shook! i couldn't contain the happiness, confusion, fear, agony, shame....i wanted to jump off the cliff just a few meters outside my bedroom!
okay, breath in...breath out (1 million times)
why such an effect? say, i sent this long lost friend an email of my confession...that i was (or still) in love with him. i sent to him the most outrageous email i've ever composed in my 29 years of existence almost a year ago. and what was so shameful about this whole confession thing was that, he didn't even believe me! he thought i was just making a BIG joke!
and so
i made a vow of silence
between him and me
we didn't hear anything from each other after that.
not until that hughful saturday morning.
of course, i tried to fish for something but he was playing safe and so was i. i figured, my confession is a taboo so i didn't brought it up. i didn't want to scare him away. the conversation was plain and somehow comforting but mostly freaking (for me, at least)
god, i miss him! a lot!
i ended our chat with an "i love you"
and he replied with a FREAKING
"i love you too"
to balance that freaking morning, i joined my friends for dinner. i wanted to drown on the 1-year beer supply of sharon. i drank as much as my tummy can take. if i could only fill my lungs with beer, i could have drank more. anyway, i thought my beer intake would put me to a long and undisturbed sleep. but no! i was freaking out because sleep didn't come. i was freaking awake for the entire freaking night!
now, i am a certified freaking freak!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment